The Laboratory of C.H.U.N.K. 666

Brasserie

2008-04-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

Now that the breeding program is at full tilt, we will need to find ways to quench the superhuman thirst that second generation Chunklings are sure to develop. Thud is thus cultivating a bond with Dee and Clair's Brew Club So Pathetic so as to avert any potential crisis when the new brood comes of age.

Dee and Clair have been brewing for a while, but if they were to be able to satiate CHVNK livers, the five gallon partial-mash method just wasn't gonna cut it and they needed a full grain tower. Within days of the initial consultation (where he was promised as much wee-heavy as he could drink as payment) Thud found a commercial grade, free-standing, two burner propane stove in a dumpster a block from the Krackhouse. Score! A few frames from the tree 'o shame, a bed frame, a handful of coat hangers and we're hot to trot.

Since the construction was necessarily to be done on-site, the tanks were brought over from the Foxtrot station by…well…er, don't try this at home kids.

One always forgets how much "staring at it" time, mitering time, paint sanding time and all the rest goes into something with this many bits and pieces. And how well some people can procrastinate. Well, a year later it's finally done, but damn is it a beaut! It's still awaiting some of the other necessary hardware for the whole system to go on line, but we should get the first kegs by summer.

chvnkland

2008-02-22T10:19:00.000-08:00

Click to enlarge

Thud made this map of ye olde stompinge groundes for the Teams of Portland exhibit at the North American Handmade Bicycle Show. It hits the major highlights of CHUNK's historical connection to the streets of our fair city.

(Megulon-5 put the map in his photostream for everyone's perusal)

NW Piano Mover

2008-02-01T11:41:00.000-08:00

Northwestern Piano Mover by Terri Saul, from a photo on the CHUNK mothersite.

New Year

2008-01-03T11:08:00.000-08:00

C.H.U.N.K. somehow got comped an unlimited supply of tix to the Y2K+8 Wu Tang NYE throwdown. There was alota poo-pooing of the Wu before hand, many minutes of chunks looking bored with the idea.

Then there was the matter of herding the chunks that expressed what little enthusiasm they could to said show - much thumb-up-assery on the side of road arguing.

we made it just in time

hung out till they dropped the balloons

and then split just as the popos were setting up their post-show riot cordon.

Anyhoodle, rolled back to the lago for the real fun.

Happy new years!

touching cloth, a winter wonderland

2007-12-19T08:54:00.000-08:00

Day at the Races

2007-11-29T13:47:00.000-08:00

CHUNK 666's very own Big Bear has been moonlighting on the Team Beer cyclocross squad for over a year now, always, 'course, on a muhfuggin CHUNK bike. He has built several cross-choppers in this time, the weekly races exerting an almost tidal pull on his creative faculties, like the urge to migrate in whales, ~~or the super strength bestowed on oneself by PCP~~.

B. built the cross bike and aerodynamic helmet featured above from absolute scratch less than 24 hours before his race - it was oh so many small pieces at 3:00 pm on Saturday and the next thing you knew Big B. was riding to a house party later that night. It purportedly possessed the quietest, straightest drive chain ever to roll off the CHUNK 666 factory floor, in spite of its seat and chain stays which approached a mind-blowing 3 feet long.

And then the Bear RACED it. And then he raced it AGAIN! He was hauling! It was INSANE. Totally and utterly insane. But then again, Big Bear can ride anything, so he rides everything.

The Gates

2007-11-21T10:07:00.000-08:00

It was bitter cold though she still danced without her cane on the sidewalk outside the bodega. Somehow we inspire others to act out. It’s contagious.

She was dancing to our boom box while some guys were inside buying beers. Her foot didn’t look so good, wrapped in dirty gauze. She didn’t look too good in general, maybe drunk already. We were getting there and we must have been dirty too, the way playing with chopped bikes always gets dirty. We’d stopped a cross street, in the hundreds, on the west side. Wherever we go, its a parade and a party. Some of us danced with her, then we left her, and her dirty wrapped up foot.

Earlier, the day had led us up Manhatten upon choppers, a swing bike, some talls and the double tandem. We were going to see The Gates, the orange nylon and steel structures that were placed on the walkways all around Central Park by Christo and Jean-Claude. The thick fabric hangs off the top crossbar, from on high to about head height. We rode up to have a look of our own, to ride through them, what gates are made for.

We became part of the show there - cameras turned onto us. Photographed ten thousand times, until we tired, oh, and kept riding to the top of the park.

We rode through the rougher places that ramble on in ways that seem close to natural, as the land of Manhattan allows. In truth, each and every part of the park was planted and combed. The Park was once woods (before it was city), then low farmland (when the city sprouted around docks in the bay), and then a ramshackle of squatter villages, Irish and black (as the downtown city swelled and boiled). The city then became too big for its britches, and the squatters were kicked out and the workers came in with stones and trees and birds and ponds.

We rode on, and out of the park.

It was a biting cold clear day. February is the ass of winter. It is neither the entry into the season, nor the exit. It’s just Dark. Extremities were numb. Too much costuming and not enough practical gear while riding a bike is never a good way to keep warm as it seems only the legs are worked, making for a sweaty chest and butt crack, frigid neck and hands. The feet are on their own. We stopped for those cold drinks and the dancing lady, despite all the amputations you could just dance to a rock ‘n roll station.

We pushed on over to the Hudson River where the temperature dropped again with the wind off the open water. The chuck wagon - a double tandem bike - was unveiled in all its glory - the way way back housed a barbecue grill, which was loaded with scrap wood. Behind the grill was a milk crate full of lighter fluid, hot dogs, buns, ketchup and mustard.

What the fuck? The obvious task was completed; wood doused with fluid, lit, then hosed with more making small bridges of fire. The scrap wood caught, air vents opened, AC/DC was found on the boom box and we rode down along the river, towards the bay. The bike was a controlled burn. Joggers and walkers and babies turned their necks to try and wrap their heads around a long bike with a small camp fire on the back, convoying with tall bikes and choppers and metal. Quite a sight along the Hudson River, Jersey gushed in appreciation and jealousy. The sun set and the fire flared up, stoked by the air pulled into the moving bike.

We rode on down to the finish line of a fixie race on a boat. We parked the bikes in the dark and crowded around the fire to warm our hands like transients around a burning barrel. Others joined us. The night ended later, with the fire still burning and smoking through the city.

Sailchop Expedition

2007-11-08T11:18:00.000-08:00

The landscape was incredible. Mindblowing.

CHUNK 666 camping is just as lovely as always - whiskey toddies, bacon-fried eggs, chili beans and soup. A bit chill in the middle-nights, but soon warmed in the hot springs before breakfast. Whiskey in the morning coffee.

Downhill on Steens mountain, skidding through the ruts carving long and sweeping esses into the gravel.

Big B. and Ninja did fearsome knottitude 'pon the Willamaconda, flying laughing over the barren flats, with only the weak strainings of the vessel's factory welds holding them back.

The Willamaconda, having twice conquered the land-water medium, worked really well. The predictable oaths of "next year will be superb" were made, as a better concept of what is needed is known.

Photo sets by Krakles, Thud, and Rino.

Humble Origins

2007-09-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

As we await the return of our expeditionary forces from the very precipice of chunkulation experimentation in the arid highlands, we pause to reflect on our early baby steps.

Yea, the 1st CHUNK sailchop:
a bedsheet + a tree branch + a windy road in the middle of nowhere...

antlered beast

2007-09-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

CHUNK in NY has a low profile, and we had many dropouts strewn about the shop. Crotchey decided to mark the triple-tall BMX tallbike that he made for Snowman.

If the people see it locked on the street, they see the Gary Fisher conglomerate stem antlers/handlebars, and they can identify who's responsible.

Again, cut only with the sawzall and held in place with a wrench by Shanay while he tacked them down.

In short, did it this way to add some color, and hadn't done it before.

Weighs less than a Varsity.

2007-09-18T11:05:00.000-07:00

Having decided to leave the tallbikes we took to MPLS behind, Thud thought, "wait, why build a crappy bike to leave there when I could just build a better bike to keep here?"

After staring at the brass kicking around in the shop and the Campy wheelset not getting much use in his basement, and, uh, the Raceface chainrings, the Avid braves, the Brooks saddle and a XT derailleur? It had to be done eventually.

Figs. 1 & 2
It probably weighs less than a Varsity (not that that's saying much) and he's since done a 72 delivery day as a messenger and taken 2nd place in an alleycat on it.

Fig. 3
Thud's all about the rebuildable headset too. Normally, once you weld that steering column in place, the bottom headset is in for good. You can kinda see in Fig. 4 how the thing in Fig. 3 sleeves over the shaft he's welding into the bottom fork in Figs. 1 and 2.

Fig. 4

A bolt in that beeotch and voila, full service. Oh, and it's all fillet brazed too.

It's still a work in progress, but eventually it will have front and rear racks, as well as rails amidships for the mini fridges. Now, if only Thud can get Big B to perfect that Jacuzzi trailer he keeps talking about, he'll really be touring in style.

The Country Squire

2007-09-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

Ahh- The Country Squire! Like a balmy bay breeze betwixt the buttocks, The Squire carries it's rider in the upright and noble posture of his forebears from an earlier, more genteel era. No squatting or scraping for this gentleman, no sir! Head held high, back erect, our aristocratic rider elegantly "steers from the rear" via his chariot's patented "rack-and-spur" linkage.

With cargo space aplenty fore and aft, this dignified patrician is fully equipped for the civilized recreations befitting his station, be it a hunting safari in the darkest jungles of L'Afrique, playing Buzkashi with the Pashas of Persia, or conveying his refined Lady Jane to an evening at the Opera.

The Squire is fully disassembable - no welds here! - so as to facilitate our rakish rider's globetrotting lifestyle: easily stored in a steamer trunk aboard a pleasure cruise, airship, or zeppelin, the Squire may also be grafted onto any available velocipede, should it be necessary to "lighten one's load."

Ahhh- The Country Squire! The comfort of the future, with the style of the past!

ECMC Trophy

2007-09-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

Crotchy volunteered to make a trophy for BillDozer's East Coast Messenger Chumpionships "fiasco"/weekend/race/polo tournament, and to spend a little time w/ the sawzall and the tanks.

When BillDozer is seen at polo in NY, he often holds court and relates that, though we're improving, we're not ready to play in Portland. His formative years in the Rose City created unfadeable memories of bicycle polo at it's absolute best. His horrific injury and subsequent retirement only serve to grow those memories. We hope one day to play in Portland, and perhaps to win a match or two. Until then, we will strive to enhance BillDozer's East Coast productions.

As BillDozer IS metal, the skull was an easy choice for a theme. "To the winners go the spoils", he's uttered, although this classy line didn't quite find its way to the tip of the dremel.

The initial projection: a skull from which you drink, was largely executed. Though the container (i believe part of an industrial coffee creamer cooler) was purchased from a sketchy Bowery restaurant supplier, the rest of the found metal largely dictated proportions and texture for the trophy. Bill seemed pleased with the result, and the "handcrafted" piece looked particularly raw and CHVNKy next to the other fine wares donated as prizes.

chvnkolo!

2007-09-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

dclxvi update

2007-06-12T07:29:00.000-07:00

Megulon-5 has related our 2004 trip to Minneapolis to meet & ride with the Black Label Bicycle Club.

sailchop

2007-06-09T15:14:00.000-07:00

CHUNKPoloBike Build Day

2007-03-27T09:21:00.000-07:00

We grew weary of favorite chunkbikes getting fucked up playing chunkpolo. The solution was obvious: a build-day focused only on chunkpolo bikes. Build-days also being beneficial to the soul.

The day was productive by our standards. 4 chunkpolo ponybikes were punched out in succession. Common design features were simplistic BMX-extendo-type forks combined w/ junky frames, parts from the Pile, & smaller (less-tacoable) rear wheels.

It was a primal CHUNK 666 experience - drinking beer, cutting metal and welding bikes, fucking frames up w/ sledgehammers: all in crowded, cluttered quarters, resulting in simple not-built-to-really-last CHOPPERS. The kind of chopper that's fun to tear around on but would kill your ass and knees if you rode across town.

Four bikes later (plus 2 new ones built a day or 2 before) we hit the field for about a game & a half, mostly in heavy rain, at which point the beer & welding & rain & approaching night caught up w/ everyone, & called it a day.

Para-Chunkular Constructions.

2007-02-10T10:34:00.000-08:00

There are quite a few worthy cycle manufacturers out there that are not directly affiliated with Chunk. We are quite willing to provide space for images sent our way.

Tuky from Buenoes Aires writes:

Hi! Silken please excuse my English , this mail it´s for send a picture of
my first "Mutant Bike" , i read the tecnichal information of BMX EXTENDO
from Chunk 666 .
I want to congratulate to chunk by the Web and its work
Thanx for your inspiration

Tuky

http://ubbiar.fotolog.com/la_bacha/

2003 Brooklyn Chunkathalon Black & Whites

2007-01-22T07:06:00.000-08:00

I found a set of b&w pics taken on a crappy disposable camera back at the 2003 Brooklyn Chunkathalon. They're exclusively of the Derby Royale, except of one of Megulon, Ninj, & some other folks fussing with the baby rescue "carriage." Love that hazy Manhatten skyline.

Megulon's write-up here.

CHUNK 666 Ice Pond Polo.

2007-01-16T10:36:00.000-08:00

Both of the Great CHUNK Lakes (Siracusa & Seal Penis Bone) flooded and froze over last week. Perfect for that clumsy pairing of futility: bicycle polo on choppers! Let the headlong and impulsive embrace of mother earth commence!

Firebikes!

2006-12-23T10:37:00.000-08:00

I'm in love.

2006-12-11T11:32:00.000-08:00

It's no secret that Hot Pocket is the champion. Although from above, shit doesn't look straight.

CHUNK 666 Polo

2006-12-04T10:40:00.000-08:00

Chunk-o-lo!!! All day, til sunset. Dinner, & even more nighttime chunkolo. 3-on-3, first to 3 points. Tried 4-on-4 but 8 choppers on the lot at once proved crowded. Rules are few since riding a chopper one-handed for prolonged time is handicap enough. 10 mallets summarily culled to 6, w/ parts of the 4 broken ones duct-taped together chunk-style into 2 semi-functional mallets. Bike damage limited to 1 taco'd front wheel, easily bent back. Rampant chopper crotch next morning.

Water hazard.

Pile-up at center field.

Retrieving the ball from the water hazard proved difficult.

Welcome, Goodbye.

2006-11-25T11:30:00.000-08:00

Chunk Baby MK1 has entered this world! Ready to scavenge the burned earth for usable mountain bike frames. It's being called "Ocean Sheridan Hart Timmons." OSHT.

Not much to be said about the pre-Halloween event, Bike Kill. It was pre enough that nobody 'cept CHVNK dressed up, at all! 3 days. 3 days. We were collectively bummed out on the whole thing, wondering if attendance was in fact necessary.

Papaya.

2006-11-12T10:40:00.000-08:00

CHUNK 666 New York (New York) tours some hot dog stands of NYC.

Follow the bouncing weenie!! Fun!?!