Saturday, April 30, 2005

Organ Donor Invite II

Organ Donor Invite II

This time around, we decided fairly early that Organ Donor Invite II very deliberately would not be the sort of (for lack of a better description) public spectacle that a Chunkathalon is. For starters, the location (a public park) is not ideal for a Chunkathalon-style high impact event. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, it did not make sense in an economy-of-effort way to invest too much stress and organization into the Organ Donor Invite, leaving some or all of us kind of burnt out early in the summer. In other words, save the big production energy for the Chunkathalon. Lastly, personally I wanted the Organ Donor Invite to feel a little more "ice cream social," or "friendly badminton tournament," and less "drunken mayhem," if that makes any sense.

Some may remember that the first Organ Donor Invite had a ton of rules regarding what kind of tall bike was acceptable and a page of specifics for determining the winner of a joust. We basically threw all that out the window this year. Bike requirements were simplified to having a standard one-bike-on-top-of-another tallbike design, or, failing that, at least having an unmodified adult bicycle on the bottom (how the seat and handlebars were extended were up to the creators imagination). Also, no tall choppers, short stacks, or Chalo-talls (the mightiest tallbike EVER forged).

We also dumped the "continuation" rule, which last year resulted in one jouster chasing the other one around in circles. I had figured we'd just have each jouster set back up and start over if a given pass didn't result in a dismount, but Thud started getting people to just "circle 'round" at each end of the arena until they were facing each other again and then give it another pass. This on-the-fly innovation lent the proceedings a gentlemanly duel flavor, as by the later matches the opponents would actually signal a new pass to each other on their own.

Creating a more benevolent atmosphere was made all the easier due to my absolutely catastrophic hangover from the pubcrawl the night before. Nothing can make an event more mellow and relaxed and casual than having the guy on the megaphone unable to eat solids until 5:30 in the afternoon.

Before we started the joust proper, we introduced our newest event, the Circle of Friendship. This was one of those events that started out as one idea, a sort of "don't let go" team event involving two tallbikes (this type of event, cooperative rather than competitive, is something we've been wanting to add to CHUNK 666 events for awhile, but dang, they're hard to come up with). That idea didn't really work, but it spawned the idea for the Circle of Friendship.

You draw a circle on the ground, that, if it were the circumference of a sphere, is 666 cubic centimeters.1 Three contestants ride their tallbikes around the outside of it. One enters the circle and begins riding around inside of it, staying inside the line. Then the second enters, and when the third enters, the timer is started. The circle's size is essentially just big enough for three tallbikes to ride in a fairly tight circle, but just small enough to require communication between the teammates in order for all three to remain inside. The timer is stopped when one of the teammates "faults," either by crossing the circle's boundary or falling over inside the circle.

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After one minute in the circle, the team goes to one-handed riding. After two minutes Fred Nemo stands in the middle of the circle.

Circle of Friendship Results:

1st: Dead Baby Bike Club "Group A" (Mess-Carly-Colin) 2:33
2nd: CHUNK 666 "Group A" (Megulon 5-Thud-Eliza) 1:33
3rd: Zoobomb "Group A" (Zack-SolidGold-Genghis Klown) 1:07
4th: CHUNK 666 "Group B" (Krak-Big B.-Sandy) 0:41
5th: Dead Baby Bike Club"Group B" (Ian-Peter-Terry) 0:36
6th: Dead Baby Bike Club "Group C" (Ian-Kevin-Peter) 0:11
7th: Zoobomb "Group B" (Sam-Phil-Chops) 0:09

Then it was on to the joust. I apologize now for a lack of photos of everyone. My goal was to try to capture the moment of impact, but I mostly got he instant after, or worse, ended up with a picture of one tallbiker looking behind them to see if they'd won. The following are pretty much the best of what I have. Some other Organ Donor Invite II pictures can be seen at Also look here, here, and here at

We had to do some sub-rounds to get our bracket to a nice 16 contestants. Here you see Dead Baby Ian preparing for one such round.

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The megaphone I had was loud but turned out only to be audible if it was pointing in your general direct, so Thud started using hand signals and just yelling a lot to get the jousts started (I was in no condition for yelling).

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On to the First Round proper. Thud defeats Dead Baby Peter.

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More first round action. Megulon-5 defeats Dead Baby Kevin. Note Megulon is not wearing any protective gear on his torso (and he bruises easy). He would pay dearly for this in later rounds.

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Second round, Megulon-5 vs. Dead Baby Terry.

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Megulon-5 defeats Dead Baby Terry.

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Things started getting brutal in the Quarterfinals. Dead Baby Ian really wanted a shot at defending champ Messman, but had to go through Thud to get to him. Unfortunately, Thud likewise wanted his shot at the defending champ.

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Dead Baby Ian vs. Thud, maybe the 6th pass? They were both connecting on each pass. Ian appears to be getting pounded in the bladder here.

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The 8th pass in the Thud and Ian slug-a-thon.

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Thud vs. Ian, 9th pass,

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Thud won to advance and face Messman in the final four. I 'm pleased to announce that fellow CHUNK 666ers Megulon-5 and Krak also advanced to the final four. Three out of four semi-finalists ain't bad, and its definitely better than last year's showing. Anyways, everyone knew this Thud and Messman match was gonna be epic. Thud readies himself.

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Messman and Thud, second pass. Even though Thud took a five minute break before even commencing this semifinal match, he did, afterall, go about 10 passes with Ian, so he started wincing and grimacing a lot. Not to say he wasn't giving Messman some of the same.

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Messman vs. Thud, third pass.

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Fifth pass. Thud's walloping Messman, but fatigue's starting to set in for the contender.

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The duelers took a second to circle around and set back up before continuing. As you can see, Messman is the defending champ you love to hate. Look at how casual he is. I just hate him so much! (Kidding, Mess. Thanks for cleaning my sunglasses.)

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Thud readies himself for more pain. Compare his body language in this picture to the one of him before the first pass with Messman.

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In fact, after another pass or two, Thud rode down to the end of the concourse and just got off his bike and sat down, rubbing his chest and abdomen a lot. Megulon-5, Big B. and official CHUNK medic Sara Stout all came over and asked him how he was doing. Then Big B. (seen here wearing an empty beer box as a boot) gave him some beer.

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Then it was back to the grind. Eight pass (or so). This is my favorite photo from o.d.i. II.

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Ninth or tenth pass. That lance appears to be resting momentarily on Messman's front wheel and Thud's rear wheel.

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Thud actually ended up having to take another little breather. The CHUNKs were pulling for Thud, yelling encouragements like "c'mon, he's getting tired!" which was bit of the straw dog since we all know Thud was way more fatigued. Thud did loose after something ridiculous like 15 passes. Totally insane, but classic stuff, especially given the prior round's 10 or so passes with Ian.

Krak had defeated Megulon in the semifinals, and so it was Messman vs. Krak for the final. The final round is best out of three matches.

Krak made it interesting, especially as all those baby dolls lashed to his tallbike give it an additional 30-40 pounds of weight, making its movement resemble a shambling mastodon.

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But, to the disappointment of all, Messman repeated as Champion of the Organ Donor Invite. Which means next year is Organ Donor Invite III: The Bout to Knock Messman Out.

Much thanks and graditudes,

James Yu for keeping track of the results,

Sara Stout for bringing her First Aid Trike, and

"Bracketmaster" Bill for another great bracket.

And also thanks to everyone who came out and didn't leave a huge mess behind.

Organ Donor Invite II Tall-Bike Jousting Tournament.
Results by Round

Note: Due to an odd number of contestants (i.e., not a factor of 4), the bracket required two subrounds to arrive at the nearest factor of 4, in this case, 16.

Subround 1.

  • Ian (Dead Baby Bike Club,Seattle) defeats Ken O. (Dead Babies)

  • Subround 2.

  • Ian (Dead Babies) defeats Genghis Klown (Clowns)

  • Terry (Dead Babies) defeats Sandy (CHUNK 666)

  • First Round.

  • Messman (Seattle) defeats Donald (Margaret Charles Chopper Collective)

  • Colin (Seattle) defeats Phil (Zoobombers)

  • Thud (CHUNK 666) defeats Peter (Dead Babies)

  • Ian, DBBC defeats Sam (Zoobombers)

  • Megulon-5 (CHUNK 666) defeats Kevin (Dead Babies)

  • Terry (Dead Babies) defeats Solid Gold (Zoobombers) DQ

  • Note: Solid Gold was disqualified and the win awarded to Terry due to Solid Gold accruing three fouls for hits aimed at the head. Thankfully, none of the hits connected, and Solid Gold bowed out gracefully in a manner befitting a gentleman.

  • Krak (CHUNK 666) defeats DX #27 (Dead Babies)

  • Zach (Zoobombers) defeats Sarah (Portland)

  • Quarterfinals:

  • Messman (Seattle) defeats Colin (Seattle)

  • Thud (CHUNK 666) defeats Ian (Dead Babies)

  • Megulon-5 (CHUNK 666) defeats Terry (Dead Babies)

  • Krak (CHUNK 666) defeats Zach (Zoobombers)

  • Semifinals:

  • Messman (Seattle) defeats Thud (CHUNK 666)

  • Krak (CHUNK 666) defeats Megulon-5 (CHUNK 666)

  • Championship Round:

    Note: Best of Three Matches.

  • Mess (Seattle) defeats Krak (CHUNK 666) in two matches.

  • 1Total bullshit.

    Friday, April 29, 2005

    Tallbike Pubcrawl

    The second Organ Donor Invite kicked off Friday with a pubcrawl, starting at the Know at NE Alberta and 20th. Got there late, in accordance with CHUNK 666 bylaws. Turnout bigger than last year. Dead Baby Bike Club and Zoobomb accounted for. Hey, Big B.'s back from being abroad since January!

    Time to roll. Chatted with Dead Baby Ian. Thought I was hosting several Babies on my floor for the weekend, was expecting them around 6:00 at my front door. Oh, they parked and unloaded somewhere else in NE, then headed straight for Mary's Club, of course. Crawl heads to Billy Ray's.

    Beer. Talk. Repeat. Roll across quadrants to the Basement Pub. Margorie eats pavement on SE 12th Avenue. Everyone stops. She managed to break her fall, but she's still gonna have a black eye come tomorrow. The funny thing? She's riding a normal ol' mountain bike. Basement Pub. Indecision about what to do next. Group splits in two because Zoobombers "don't want to go any further south," which is understandable, I guess.

    Pick up beer, head south to Megulon-5's house. Fire out back. This is my favorite part of the evening. Conscript Ian to help me carry the huge, dead Christmas tree on the side of my house that's been getting in my way since, well, after Christmas, over to Megulon's. Drag it up next to the fire then sorta roll it on top of the flames. WHOOSH! Thank goodness I thought to snap a picture, and by the time I did the flames were easily half as high as they were at first.

    Note the person (who is that?) standing behind the fire to the left: this gives you an idea of the scale, and more importantly, the heat of that fire (everyone backed up really fast).

    Thursday, April 28, 2005

    CHUNK Bike Anatomy: the Organ Donor

    We lost count of the total number of bikes we've constructed a long time ago. As previously mentioned on several occasions, all CHUNK 666 bikes usually befall one of three deaths: they break, they get stolen, or they retire to the chronic pile. Through several twists of fate, the mighty Organ Donor, constructed way back when in the winter of '92/'93, lives on. Organ Donor is so old that it also shares the distinction of being one of the first three CHUNK bikes EVER built (although it is the only one to see the dawn of the 21st century).

    Part of its longevity may be that it lay forgotten under a pile of bikes at the Lab for several years, sparing it the vicissitudes of rusting away in the rain, as well as the trials of inexperienced riders. Another factor may be that its not entirely pleasant to ride. The bike frame-turned-upside-down-with-crankset-reversed tallbike design has largely been discarded by most clubs since this relaxes the headtube angle, actually giving the tallbike more rake. This makes steering mildly unpleasant, especially seeing as that steertube extension flexes, lending to the sensation that one is about to be cast down between the steer- and seat-tube extensions, into the "cage of death," if you will.

    Furthermore, the upside-down feature means that the "drop-outs" actually face straight up, so not only is the rider wary of the flexy nature of the steer tube and raked-out fork, but somewhat aware that the rear wheel could, theoretically, come loose and pop right out of the dropouts, unceremoniously dumping the rider backwards into the pavement.

    The origin of the name "Organ Donor" is itself of fine pedigree. According the writings of Megulon-5,
    There was once, by way of illustration, a lovely twelve-speed bicycle ridden by the author and known as B. 25, due to the fact that the sole identifying insignia on its frame was the number 25 stamped in the metal. This bicycle, after ramming no fewer than three cars, suffered a death all too violent for an unchoppified bicycle. After the parts of 25 lived anew upon the frame of its predecessor, B. Ralph Waldo 5, 25's bent frame was hung in the tombs bearing the inscription "Organ Donor". A year later some of its tubes were used to form the body of, you guessed it, the Organ Donor, and it was when this inscription was again noticed that that proud creation received its name.
    For the reasons mentioned above, the Organ Donor doesn't really get out much these days. Last year, Thud rode it in the tallbike pubcrawl.

    And before that, the last major operation the Organ Donor was involved in was the 2002 Chunkathalon when Spidey rode it (to victory) in a joust.

    Saturday, April 16, 2005

    Megulon-5's tallbike had been out of commission since the last Chunkathalon, when someone tried to ride it when there was a padlock through the chainring. We had to go to the Lab and Megulon found this a good enough excuse to load his busted tallbike (also requiring simple stem extension repairs) onto the sidehack and ride it up to the lab. It took a while to figure out how exactly to load the tallbike onto the 'hack.

    And we were off. Megulon had to restrain himself from the temptation to side swipe cars, other bikes, and people with the tallbike.

    Repairs were made, we rode to the Clinton Street Theater to watch Filmed by Bike III. We saw the Rat Patrol short film from several years ago.

    Saturday, April 2, 2005

    Do we need more beer?

    CHUNK 666 argues sending off a pair of riders to get more beer prior to arriving at a party.

    "Do we need more beer?!?"

    "We've got a twelver, and Krak's got three left, so that's like, 2 beers for everyone.…"

    "Then, we're gonna need more beer."

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